Once upon a time (okay, one and half years ago), before I was Hana Li, I was just a huge burlesque fan who decided to drag her friends to a show on her birthday. One of them is a writer, and he had been working on a series called
Advice on Stu. The experience inspired a piece titled
"Don’t bother masturbating before the burlesque show, because it won’t make a difference". Here's an excerpt:
So for years, I’ve felt that my erections, random or otherwise, have
been either embarrassing or gross. Therefore, when I found out I was
going to a burlesque show for a friend’s birthday, I was worried. With
all those almost naked chicks running around, I was terrified that I was
going to pop wood at an inopportune moment and ruin her birthday by
being a little too excited.
So, I did what I thought was best. I figured if I jerked it right
before leaving for the burlesque show, I wouldn’t really be that aroused
during the show. So…there you go.
LATER, AT THE BURLESQUE SHOW…
I’m sitting (in the dark) while a punkish looking chick with red hair
(I love redheads) danced around in nothing but a G string and those
little sticky things that cover their nipples up (because nipples are
the most offensive thing ever…). I just sat there, minding my own
business and watching the show, when…
Yes, I'm the friend. No, those events didn't happen, and he's not writing about a specific dancer (though you can
see his muses here). I always love it when burlesque makes cameos into modern works. You can read Stuart Stutzman's latest fiction at
Rogue Group Writing.
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